Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Needing the flo

Thank the Gods yesterday is a memory. I opened my beautiful hazels with a new optimism today and started out by locking the raccoon in his cage and the squirrel in the bedroom. I really don't see why Larry has them. They are stupid pets and probably explain why he's single, well was single. I promised him meatloaf for supper, so I went for it. I wonder how he'd react if I told him it was made from raccoon? Ha Ha. I checked out some modeling agencies on the web today in Manhattan. There are so many opportunities for a woman of my obvious talents. I need to get out and earn my own green. Living off Larry is holding me back even if he is crazy for me. I also saw an add for dancers at Sheckies Place. It's a dark low life hang out for old codgers that can't get it up anymore, but have plenty of scratch in their pockets and I have what it takes to get my share. I made a pact with myself that I would never return to the bright lights and brass, but I'd rather hit the Apple on a Greyhound than doing mouth and hand work in strangers cars for a week. Let's see how he likes his Racc-loaf.
Later chicas

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Larry the Loser

Hey fans, thanks for tooning in to my rants and raves as my world turns. I really want to use this history making chronicle something that other gals out there can refer to if they find themselves out on the road.

My story begins where the fun left off. I was abandoned at an Arby's crap hole when I went to the powder room to freshen up. Thanks to some freak and his screaming kid, I got thrown out of the family washroom. I mean I know I could have used the woman's, but there was a bus load of Chinese tourists using the facilities and well the family john had the least amount of traffic. By the time I got outside my ride had had enough of my drama and checked out. I don't care cause there was no way I was giving that fat fuck a BJ for a ride. So as I was saying, shooed out the door I was sitting on a plastic milk crate when some very strange geeky dude tries to impress me with his curiosity about the origins of milk crates. All I was hoping for was a roof over my head and no STD's while I regrouped and made my next travel plan.

Lumpy Larry as he affectionately refers to himself, is one strange bird. This guy has a pet raccoon and a squirrel and he shares his bed with them both......and me. Now before you go off thinking I'm a user, Larry and I got married after a brief courtship and he calls me his Diva. He idolizes me for my beauty. I'm just sayin. Some day his friends will tell him why they are laughing so hard at him and I will have to move on. For now, he believes I'm a virgin and hasn't tried to explore my forbidden fruit. I wonder how he would react if he found out his raccoon and squirrel have a snake to hangout with. God I hate Nebraska. I thionk I'll go to the Apple. Work will be fun there.
Ciao girls