Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Larry the Loser

Hey fans, thanks for tooning in to my rants and raves as my world turns. I really want to use this history making chronicle something that other gals out there can refer to if they find themselves out on the road.

My story begins where the fun left off. I was abandoned at an Arby's crap hole when I went to the powder room to freshen up. Thanks to some freak and his screaming kid, I got thrown out of the family washroom. I mean I know I could have used the woman's, but there was a bus load of Chinese tourists using the facilities and well the family john had the least amount of traffic. By the time I got outside my ride had had enough of my drama and checked out. I don't care cause there was no way I was giving that fat fuck a BJ for a ride. So as I was saying, shooed out the door I was sitting on a plastic milk crate when some very strange geeky dude tries to impress me with his curiosity about the origins of milk crates. All I was hoping for was a roof over my head and no STD's while I regrouped and made my next travel plan.

Lumpy Larry as he affectionately refers to himself, is one strange bird. This guy has a pet raccoon and a squirrel and he shares his bed with them both......and me. Now before you go off thinking I'm a user, Larry and I got married after a brief courtship and he calls me his Diva. He idolizes me for my beauty. I'm just sayin. Some day his friends will tell him why they are laughing so hard at him and I will have to move on. For now, he believes I'm a virgin and hasn't tried to explore my forbidden fruit. I wonder how he would react if he found out his raccoon and squirrel have a snake to hangout with. God I hate Nebraska. I thionk I'll go to the Apple. Work will be fun there.
Ciao girls


  1. You gotta do what ya gotta do to survive.

  2. Love the post! interesting read! keep up the great work!

  3. Haha I love this, and I also loved reading larrys blog